Helping Children When A Family Member Has Cancer: V

How Can I Reassure My Child That Everything Will Be Fine? Unfortunately, parents probably cannot offer the kind of blanket reassurance they would like to at the beginning of their experience with cancer. This is because no one really knows at that point how they will respond to treatment and that everything will be okay. In spite of this, there are things that parents can do to help their children cope. Parents can reassure children that no matter what, they will always be cared for. If the parent is feeling sick, they will arrange for someone else to fill in. The most important issue for children is their own sense of security and safety. Children depend on their parents for their basic physical and emotional needs. A parent's cancer can make families feel that their lives are totally out of control. During this time it is important to realize that the entire family is likely to feel anxious and unsettled. The person with cancer will make trips to the hospital, their partner may take time off from work and, in general, family members will feel – and show – all kinds of emotions. In spite of all this, parents should try to keep as much of their children?s lives the same as possible. This may sound like a tall order, but it is usually possible to reorganize family routines at least for a short period of time. In talking about your diagnosis and treatment, it is a good idea to prepare children for the fact that certain changes will need to be made in the family routine. Parents will need to call on others to fill in for them during periods of active treatment. Perhaps a relative will be moving in for a while to help out if a parent needs to be in the hospital. Perhaps the sick parent has friends who have volunteered to take turns in preparing meals for the family. A relative or friend may volunteer to pick a child up from school and take him to special activities. When these changes in family routines are explained to children, they offer a powerful message that Mom or Dad is still in charge and the child's needs will be met. Life will go on as normally as possible given the crisis the family is facing. The child will not be left on his own. Parents should confirm that no one is happy that life seems turned upside down right now, but it will not last forever. In the meantime, tell children over and over again you love them and that their needs will be met. Sometimes children react strongly to changes in routine and parents feel frustrated and even angry as they try to meet everyone's needs. Keep in mind that it is no one's fault when parents get cancer and there is nothing they can do to change that fact. People have choices about how to handle the situation. Find something in the situation that the child has a choice about like whom they would like to meet at the school bus, or what they would like to wear when they go to a neighbor's after school. Don't spend endless time discussing issues back and forth – sometimes that's just the way things have to be at the moment. Children are not expected to like it when their routines are disrupted – adults don't like it either. Parents can admit this to their children along with the fact that they have a right to feel angry and upset right now. Although parents can't fix the situation, they should be interested in how their children are feeling. Obviously, whatever needs to be done to care for the children will vary depending on the age of the child and how available others are to help. Young children have basic survival needs and are more dependent on parents to feel secure and safe. Teenagers present special challenges because they tend to test their need for independence. But it is logical to ask them to be there to fill in more for an absent or ill parent. Sometimes there may be a fine line between asking for help from a teenager and giving them too much responsibility for the household. Parents may need to recognize their teenager's normal desire for independence and assure them that you know they need their own time and space in spite of the fact that a parent is ill. Establishing a time for a "family meeting" in which parents and children can review how things are going in the family and make decisions about what should be different or stay the same may also be helpful. Some families may find it difficult to ask for help. Families may not be living together or there may be a history of family tension. We know from experience that people who try to manage the problems that cancer can cause alone will have a hard time. Try to remember that usually people really do want to help, and if you allow them to help, they will feel useful and needed. If there is no one available to help, patients or their families should ask to talk with the hospital social worker or the nurse in the doctor's office about any community agencies that can help. How Will I Know if My Child Needs Help? Deciding if your child needs help can be confusing as parents try to sort out what is a "normal" response to a new cancer diagnosis and what is not. This is new territory and it will take some time to figure out what works best for you and your family. So while you are learning for the first time how your children react to cancer, you already have experience with how your children deal with other stressful events. Most parents can tell exactly how each of their children behaves when they are upset. Because children, especially young ones, are often unable to talk about how they feel, they show us by their behavior. Some children will become withdrawn, while others may fight, whine and complain. The most important thing to look for is how extreme the change is and how long it has been going on. A child who has usually gone to bed by him or herself may need more supervision with that routine for a period of time. One of the most common signs of depression in a child is a change in behavior like suddenly getting poor grades in school or losing friends. If the usual methods of handling this are not working and the child is unable to accept extra support, professional help may be the answer. It may be useful to talk with the child's pediatrician, school counselor, or with the counseling staff at the hospital where the parent is receiving treatment. Since these experts have experience with how other children have reacted to illness in the family, they may be able to offer a useful way of looking at the problem. They should also be able to refer parents to others professionals who have experience with children whose parents have a chronic illness. Cancer Help

Humour in Uniform

Shortly after joining the Army, I was in line with some other inductees when the sergeant stepped forward with that day's assignments. After handing over various tasks, he asked, "Does anyone here have experience with radio communications?" A longtime ham operator, I shouted, "I do!" "Good," he said. "You can dig the hole for the new telephone pole." Courtesy: Reader's Digest

Being on Top - Pir Chanasii

Being on Top
Originally uploaded by mbukhari_prm.

Symbols - The End of a Beginning

Symbols - The End of a Beginning
Originally uploaded by Ejaz.

Make the woman happy!

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.You don't get any points for doing something she expects.Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system: SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed (+1) You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0) You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1) You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5) You check out a suspicious noise at night (0) You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0) You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5) You pummel it with iron rod (+10) It's her pet (-10) SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS You stay by her side the entire party (0) You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2) Named Rita (-4) Rita is a dancer (-6) Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80) HER BIRTHDAY You forget her birthday (-50000) You take her out to dinner (0) You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1) Okay, it's a sports bar (-2) And it's all-you-can- eat night (-3) It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can- eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10) A NIGHT OUT You take her to a movie (+2) You take her to a movie she likes (+4) You take her to a movie you hate (+6) You take her to a movie you like (-2) It's called 'DeathCop' (-3) You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15) YOUR PHYSIQUE You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15) You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10) You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30) You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000) ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT] You hesitate in responding (-10) You reply, "Where?" (-35) Any other response (-20) COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned ___expression (0) You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50) You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500) She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000) Now what chance do you have???

After rain...

After rain...
Originally uploaded by MoinKhan.

Picture is worth thousand words ... Isn't it??

Early Morning Magic in Nanga Parbat!

Early morning magic!!!
Originally uploaded by Srosh.

Breath-taking .... it reminds me of those fin emoments we spent in Naraan, our hut was opposite to the river Kunhar, an ice filled mountain and the serenity ... .... ... Captivation and nothing!

Naughty ....!

Thanks a lot to Parc Cruz

Hair Fashion ... ;)

Helping Children When A Family Member Has Cancer: IV

What if My Child Asks if I'm Going to Die? The question, ?Are you going to die?? causes the most distress for families. It is a good idea to rehearse how you are going to respond to this, either with someone else or just to yourself. There are some things you should know before you decide how to answer this question. First, allow yourself to admit that this is a scary question for you as well as your family. It is a difficult question for a child to ask and he or she may never have the courage to ask it directly. The issue, however, does need to be addressed. Whether you openly talk about it or not, you can be sure that your family members are worrying and thinking about death. There is usually no way to know at the beginning of the cancer experience if a person will die. The answer to the question depends on the patient's response to treatment. Even for cancers with a very poor outlook, a person's response to treatment can vary. Cancer is a chronic disease, not necessarily a terminal one. Even for cancers which may over time cause death, people can live for many years. For most people, this means they will deal with the real chance of death at some time in the future. In the meantime, the family's focus must be on how to live with cancer. For cancers that have already spread to other parts of the body (metastasized) at diagnosis, parents will need to be direct and give children different information, based on their children's ages and stages of development. So, if a child asks if the parent will die from the cancer, there are a number of different ways to answer. Here are some examples of what other parents have said:

Sometimes people do die from cancer. I'm not expecting that to happen because the doctors have told me they have very good treatments these days, and my type of cancer usually does go away with treatment. The doctors have told me that my chances of being cured are very good. I'm going to believe that until I have reason to believe something else. I hope you can believe that too. I'll tell you if I get new or different information. There is no way to know right now what's going to happen. I'll know more after the first treatments are finished. When I know more, I?ll be sure to tell you. There is not a lot known right now about the kind of cancer I have. But I?m going to give it my best shot and do everything I can to get well.

My cancer is a hard one to treat but I'm going to do everything I can to get better. It's impossible to know right now what will happen down the road. What you can be sure of is that I'll be honest with you about what is going on. If you can't stop worrying, please tell me so I can make it better.

Obviously, what people tell their children depends on how they understand their particular cancer and its potential outcome. Even with an uncertain future, patients still need to work on what they must do to live with their illness. Children need to do the same. Regardless of the words that are used, one of the most important things for parents to communicate is their desire to tell the truth. This does not mean that parents should tell their children all they know as soon as they know it. It means that children should be given truthful information when they need to have it in order to cope well. A parent might say, for example, "I don't want you to worry about the future at this point. Let's think about what?s going on right now. If that should change, I promise you I will tell you. I will always try to tell you the truth. I want you to ask me any questions you have and I'll do my best to answer them."

Thanks to Cancer Help

Helping Children When A Family Member Has Cancer: III

Are There Certain Reactions That I Should Look For? Each child responds in his or her own way to the news of a parent?s cancer diagnosis. The age of the child, his personality, his relationship to the parent, and the way information is presented are just a few factors that can influence how a child will behave. Parents know their children better than anyone else and can expect their children to react in ways that are typical of their personalities. For instance, a child who is very dependent may become even more so during that crisis of a new cancer diagnosis. A child who always imagines the worst may do so now. A child who plays rough with his toys when upset may get even rougher. Children are often unable to express how they are feeling in words. Most parents get an idea about what is going on with their kids by watching their behavior. So, a parent who is observing their children fighting with each other more now can probably assume that this is their way of showing they?re upset. Parents put this into words by saying something like, "I know everybody is more worried right now, but let's talk about this instead of fighting." In general, parents can expect that the stage of a child?s development determines his or her ability to understand what is going on. Children tend to regress or act younger when they are under stress. (Adults often do the same.) A child who has just become toilet trained may start having accidents. A child who has gone off to kindergarten quite happily may become upset at the prospect of separating from the parent. Children who have problems paying attention in school may have even more trouble concentrating than before. Usually these changes in behavior disappear after the situation returns to normal.

It is well known that children blame themselves when something goes wrong. This is because children see themselves as the center of the universe. We see this in children of divorcing parents. Kids assume they must have done something to cause the breakup of their parents' marriage. The same thing happens with illness. Children wonder if they are to blame. It is best to address this before the child asks about it, because children usually don't ask.

Trust is another issue that impacts a child?s behavior during this time. Generally, children who are included in this experience from the beginning with truthful information in small doses will have less anxiety than children whose parents are more evasive. Via Cancer Help

Prayer - Blessings ... Life ... Dreams ... Hopes ... Understanding!

PRAY THIS EVEN IF YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE IT!! IT WILL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE. You never know when God is going to bless you!! Good things happen when you least expect them to !!!!!!!!

Dear Allah, I thank You for this day. I thank You for my being able to see and to hear this morning. I'm blessed because You are a forgiving God and an understanding God. You have done so much for me and You keep on blessing me. Forgive me this day for everything I have done, said or thought that was not pleasing to you. I ask now for Your forgiveness. Please keep me safe from all danger and harm. Help me to start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude Let me make the best of each and every day to clear my mind so that I can hear from You. Please broaden my mind that I can accept all things. Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control over. And It's the best response when I'm pushed beyond my limits. I know that when I can't pray, You listen to my heart. Continue to use me to do Your will. Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others. Keep me strong that I may help the weak... Keep me uplifted that I may have words of encouragement for others. I pray for those that are lost and can't find their way. I pray for those that are misjudged and misunderstood. I pray for those who don't know You intimately. I pray for those that don't believe. But I thank you that I believe. I believe that God changes people and God changes things. I pray for all my sisters and brothers. For each and every family member in their households. I pray for peace, love and joy in their homes that they are out of debt and all their needs are met. I pray that every eye that reads this knows there is no problem, circumstance, or situation greater than God.

Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight. I pray that these words be received into the hearts of every eye that sees it. Ameen Courtesy: Ejaz Asi

Ballooony Talloony

Its so Cute naaaaa ... Courtesy Ej Bhai

CEO of Ford Owns ... !

And I heard he's Single ;-)

Helping Children When A Family Member Has Cancer: II

Should I Expect My Child to Be Upset?

Some children may become very upset when learning about a new cancer diagnosis, while others may act as if nothing is wrong. The goal is to give the child a balanced point of view. The child should realize that cancer is a serious – but not a hopeless – illness.

A child's emotional reaction to this news will depend on many things, including how the information is presented and the child's experience with illness. It is important for parents to choose a time when they are feeling fairly calm to talk to their children. In a two-parent household, it?s a good idea for parents to talk to their children together. For single parents, it may help to ask a relative or friend to be with them if they're feeling a bit shaky about the conversation. If people are feeling distraught or uncertain about what to say, it might be better to wait until their emotions are a bit more under control. That is not to say that parents need to pretend that there is nothing to worry about. It is okay if their children see them crying on occasion. Parents can admit that this is an upsetting time, that cancer is a scary disease and that it?s okay to have strong feelings about it. That doesn't mean, however, that the family won't be able to find ways to deal with it. Sometimes parents worry about showing any negative emotion in front of their children. They worry this will scare the children or that being negative will somehow affect their ability to cope with the illness. In the media, you see advice about developing a "positive attitude." In general, feeling positive is a good way to approach life. However, when people try to deny the very real feelings of fear and sadness, which are a part of any new diagnosis, the effort often just doesn?t work. The energy it takes to stifle negative emotions can sometimes make coping much harder. Many people feel that a grieving process occurs with a new cancer diagnosis. It is normal to be sad and upset after being diagnosed with cancer. It feels like nothing will ever be the same. Patients grieve for the loss of certainty and predictability in their lives. When these feelings are faced, it is much easier to work on having a positive mindset about the challenges ahead. Obviously, no one wants to alarm his or her children by being hysterical. However, there is absolutely nothing wrong with shedding a few tears when a family has a crisis. Parents can tell their children that there will be times when they will need to cry about the situation, as that helps them to feel better. Parents can assure them that at some point they won?t need to cry, but that they are encouraged to express all of their feelings, angry or sad. Everyone deals with problems in a different way and it is important for parents to give themselves permission and time to figure out what is best for them and each family member.

If other family members have died from cancer in the past, children may assume history will repeat itself. It is important for parents to explain that there are more than 100 different kinds of cancer, there are several different kinds of treatments, and that all patients respond differently to treatment and have different outcomes for the future. Make sure children understand that each situation is different in its own way and that just because grandpa died 5 years ago doesn't mean the same thing will happen now. Everyone responds differently to treatment. Cancer treatment changes from year to year and better treatments are being developed all the time. No one can predict the future and people are approaching cancer treatment with new hope.

Thanks to Cancer Research help

Helping Children When A Family Member Has Cancer: I

It is normal for families facing a new diagnosis of cancer to be upset and worried about this crisis. For families of young children or teenagers, there is more concern as they wonder how children will react to a diagnosis of cancer in a family member. Here we discuss how to help children understand and deal with a parent?s or close family member?s cancer experience. Often, to a large degree, how a child reacts to a cancer diagnosis will depend on how their parents or other close adults handle the crisis. Children learn through their parents? behavior. While parents know this, they are still under a great deal of stress and they have their own intense feelings of fear and uncertainty. Sometimes, with the right kind of help, parents and their children can and do learn to cope with cancer and its treatments. Why Do We Need to Tell Children About a Parent's Cancer Diagnosis? Some parents fear their children will worry more if they are told the facts about the situation. It is important to realize that parents and children have very different life experiences. So it is unlikely that a child will react to a problem as an adult would.

Cancer is an impossible secret to keep. Ever heard the expression, ?Little pitchers have big ears?? It means children tend to eavesdrop on adult conversations. When children hear conversations they aren?t meant to hear, they may pick up on the anxiety and worry of their parents. Often, they will tend to be afraid and believe the worst if they haven?t been given complete information. The effort it takes to keep such secrets may rob the parent of precious energy, too.

If children hear about their parent's cancer from someone else, such as a curious neighbor or a classmate, it can destroy the trust that parents have worked so hard to put in place. If children think their parents are being vague on purpose or are trying to hide something from them, they find it hard to believe they are being told the truth. So it is better that parents learn how to share this information truthfully, but in a way that allows the child to understand and take part in the discussion. The other problem in keeping the cancer a secret is that the child may incorrectly assume that whatever is happening is too terrible to be discussed. This may lead the child to feel isolated from the family, so the natural desire parents have to protect their children sometimes only makes things harder. Parents know that it is impossible to shield children from all of the stressful parts of life, and that their job is to teach their children how to manage these challenges. How Should Children Be Told That a Parent Has Cancer? Age is an important factor in deciding what and how much you should tell a child about a new diagnosis. The guiding principle should be to tell the truth in such a way that children are able to understand and prepare themselves for the changes that will happen in the family. Children thrive on routine – it helps them feel safe. When life becomes unpredictable, they will need help in adjusting to the changes. Young children (up to 8 years old) will not need a great deal of detailed information, while older children (8 - 12 years) and adolescents will need to know more. Adolescent daughters of women with breast cancer will have different concerns than a 5-year-old who needs a parent for basic caregiving. All children need the following basic information: the name of the cancer, such as "breast cancer" or "lymphoma," the part of the body where the cancer is, how it will be treated, and how their own lives will be affected. Young children (up to age 8) may need an explanation and can be told that the body is made up of lots of different parts. When someone has cancer, it means that something has gone wrong with these parts and they?ve stopped doing what they're supposed to do. Part of the body is no longer normal. Over time, a tumor or lump develops. A tumor should not be there. Because tumors can continue to grow in other parts of a person's body, the person will need treatment to either take out the tumor or stop it from spreading to other places. Older children (ages 8 through adolescence) may be able to understand a more complex discussion. They may be interested in seeing pictures of cancer cells or reading about the disease in the library. In addition to the illness itself, there are other worries children have about cancer. The most common of these is that something they did or didn't do may have caused the parent's illness. While we know this isn't true, most children believe this at some point during the cancer experience. Parents know that children engage in "magical thinking." They believe they are the center of the world and that they can make all kinds of things happen. Children can also believe that bad things happen because they have been angry with their mom or dad. So when a parent gets sick, children often feel guilty and think they are to blame for the cancer. Kids usually won't express this, so it's a good idea to reassure them about it. Parents can say something like, "The doctors have told us that no one can cause someone else to get cancer – it's nothing that any of us made happen." It's better not to wait to see if children bring this up because they may be feeling guilty without saying so. Other things children worry about are that cancer is contagious or that they can catch it, that everyone dies from it, or that they or the other parent will get it. It?s a good idea to correct these ideas before the child has a chance to worry. Children can become confused about how people get sick. A common worry is that cancer can be passed from one person to another. Parents can explain that cancer is a different kind of illness and the child doesn't have to worry that someone passed it on to Mom or Dad or that they will get it. Parents should also say that it would be very unusual for the other parent to get sick. They may want to tell their children that, years ago, people often died from cancer because doctors didn't know much about how to treat it. Many advances have now been made and the outlook for many cancers is much more hopeful. Now, people live with cancer instead of always dying from it. via Cancer Help

Going for a Hair Cut .... Try this new look!

Thanks to Ayesha

Coping Death & Grief

My mother has recently died and I am just feeling so hopeless, angry and unable to function properly. How long will I feel like this? What can I do to help myself get over her death? The feelings you are having are what we call grief. Grief is a very natural response to the loss of someone or something very important to us. There is no wrong or right way to feel when someone close to you dies. Most people will go through a range of emotions. The literature written about grief often mentions that people may go through several stages of grief. There are no hard and fast rules to this though. You will go through your own grief in your own way but it can be reassuring to know that others may feel similar things. You may go through some or all of them. And they do not necessarily happen in the order they are written here. The main thing to remember is there is no right way to grieve. The stages include

Anger Bargaining Guilt Depression Loneliness Acceptance and Hope Denial and shock

At first people may find it very hard to accept or understand the death of a loved one. Because of this they will feel so shocked they deny it is true. This usually passes as they start to talk to others about the death. Anger The most common question people ask during this stage is “why me?”. You may think it is so unfair that someone close to you dies. This can make you feel very angry with everything and everyone. Again, this stage will pass, so don’t think that you will always feel like this. Bargaining After someone close to you dies you may find yourself thinking things like’ if I give up this part of my life that I enjoy so much, I could bring back the person who died’. This is called bargaining. Although it is unrealistic it is a very natural part of grieving. Guilt You may find yourself feeling guilty for not doing certain things with your loved one before they died. Or remembering all the times you felt you did or said the wrong thing to them. Don’t beat yourself up over these things. Your loved one most likely forgave you before they died so forgive yourself. Depression Many people may have very strong feelings of sadness for some time after the death of someone close to them. Depression is not sadness. Depression is a much more intense feeling than sadness. It is more debilitating and affects your ability to cope with everyday things such as eating, sleeping, hygiene, social activities and work. You may feel like there is nothing worth living for now your loved one is gone. If feelings of sadness continue for several weeks and you are finding that you are never feeling good about anything then you may be depressed. It is not a weakness to have depression. But it is important that you seek medical help as soon as you can. You may have changes in your mood and feelings of isolation. Other common symptoms of depression are loss of interest in seeing friends and family, difficulty getting to sleep or waking in the early hours of the morning, poor appetite, lack of enthusiasm and difficulty concentrating, making decisions and remembering things. Loneliness During this stage people can feel very lonely and frightened. You miss having the person near to talk to and share your social life with. It can be very hard but trying to share more of your emotions with others close to you will help lessen these feelings. Acceptance This stage does not always mean you will feel happy again. But it does mean you will begin to accept that you need to try to cope with the death of your loved one. Most people who have had someone close to them die say that they never ‘get over it’. They just find a way to cope with it. Accepting things can be quite a relief to many people. Hope Everyone reaches this point at different times. But you will eventually be able to think about the person who died and it won’t be as painful. You will start to feel like planning ahead and looking forward to more good times. This doesn’t in any way mean you have any less feeling for your loved one. So try not to feel guilty about wanting to eventually get on with your life. You will always remember and love them for what you shared together. How long will I feel like this? How long people grieve for is a very individual thing. It may be months or even years. But it won’t always be so intense. Don’t worry if a few months after your mother’s death you still feel any of these emotions. The first Christmas and birthday of your loved one after their death are usually very upsetting.

Give yourself time to heal. The most important part of healing is to acknowledge that you are grieving. Two things that help the most with grief are time and support. You cannot force yourself to feel better. It is important that you grieve for your mother’s death and allow yourself to feel the way you do.

Some things that may help though are *Don’t try to fight your feelings – allow time to experience your thoughts and feelings, both positive and negative *Talk to someone you trust about how your mother died and how you are feeling *Don’t be afraid to cry a lot – crying is an important part of grief and will give you a release *If you have to clear out your mother’s home or finish off any business she left, try to get it done sooner rather than later. Ask a friend or relative to help you with it. *Remember to take care of yourself – eat well, get plenty of rest and some exercise *Some people find it helps to write down how they are feeling or about their loved one *Some people find it helps to go to a support group and talk to others who have had people close to them die *Be patient with yourself, it will take time and some days will be easier than others Thanks to Cancer Research UK

Going for a suicide ... :/

Via Francisquini

Life as a Software Engineer

Quote of the Day: Bridge of Life

"The long span of the bridge of your life is supported by countless cables called habits, attitudes, and desires. What you do in life depends upon what you are and what you want. What you get from life depends on how much you want it, how much you are willing to work and plan and co-operate and use your resources. The long span of the bridge of your life is supported by countless cables that you are spinning now, and that is why today is such an important day. Make the cables strong."~ L.G. Elliott

Brainstorming

Everyone has problems and challenges that need solving; they're an inevitable part of living. What many people don't realize, however, is that most of them can be overcome using a simple, focused program of personal brainstorming. Here are some practical tips to help you increase the effectiveness of your personal problem-solving skills: Step 1: State your problem clearly Before you start, firmly plant in your mind the idea that your problem can and will be solved. Your job is to find that solution, using personal brainstorming. State your problem clearly and concisely in one sentence at the top of a blank sheet of paper. Then write down everything you know about your current problem or challenge. Try to isolate and write down specific factors or trends that have contributed to it. Keep in mind that a problem, clearly defined, is already half solved. By gathering all of the information that you know about your challenge and laying it out in front of you in tangible form, you enable your most powerful problem-solving tool -- your brain -- to see connections, interrelationships and implications in the information you've collected, which would not be obvious if you just kept all of this information in your head. Think about people who have faced problems or challenges similar to the one you are facing. What strategies or solutions did they use? Then determine if any elements of their solutions can be adapted to your current situation. Step 2: Brainstorm solutions As you review your problem statement and supporting information, write down any ideas that occur to you. Don't censor yourself at this point; there will be plenty of time to evaluate your ideas later. Write down every idea, no matter how far-fetched. Your goal at this stage of the personal ideation process is to generate a large quantity of ideas. Ask yourself: How would a person who is an expert in this area solve this problem? You might want to try this exercise using famous people from history, creative thinkers such as Albert Einstein, or other leaders and innovators that you respect. Your goal for this exercise is to perform a bit of "slight of head" -- to whack your thinking into a different frame of reference to generate fresh ideas and insights. Divide your problem into its component pieces and write each of them down -- perhaps in a mind map or outline that shows the relationships between each element. Then, try brainstorming ideas for each one. This "slice and dice" technique often works well when you're faced with complex or multi-dimensional challenges. Envision an ideal future goal or outcome. Then work backwards to the present, writing down the steps you would need to take now to move toward that objective. If you find yourself running out of ideas too quickly, don't give up. Keep working at it until you have written down at least 20 possible ideas or solutions. Many times, the first 5 to 10 ideas you write down are top-of-mind solutions; often the best ideas take more concentrated and prolonged brainstorming to emerge. Conclusion

Your subconscious mind likes closure. When faced with an incomplete picture, it works to complete the mental image by inferring the missing information. Your mind works the same way on an unsolved problem or challenge; it loves to dive right in and get the job done.

In closing, remember that you can solve your problems and capitalize on new opportunities using personal ideation. All you need is a pencil, a pad of paper and a quiet "thinking spot" to tap into your creative muse. Couttesy ... soem place I've missed the link

Quote of the Day

"Never be the first to arrive at a party or the last to go home, and never, ever be both."

--David Brown in Esquire

Finding Space ...!

My father, a gravedigger, was told to prepare for a funeral. But on the day of the service, it was discovered that he had dug up the wrong plot. Luckily for him, the deceased's daughter was very understanding.

"Poor Dad," she lamented. "He always complained he could never find a parking space."

Direct From Reader's Digest :D

National Hero ......

A man sees a woman getting chased by a dog. When the dog is about to bite the woman, the man intervenes and kicks the dog. A reporter was seeing all this. He said "That was great. I'll definitely publish this in newspaper. Tomorrow the headline will be 'LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM A DOG'." The man replied "Thank you, but I'm not from here. I am from US". Reporter " OK. Then the headline will be US CITIZEN SAVES WOMAN FROM A DOG". Man: Actually,I live in US but I'm not a US citizen. I'm a Pakistani national".Next day, the headline in the paper read ...

TERRORIST ATTACKS A LOCAL DOG.

So Cute ...!

Tale from Ancient China

Well here is an ancient tale from China and it's just remarkable, so true too. Let's have a look at it ^_^ [Chinua Smile ] ^_^

In ancient China there was a family of healers, one of whom was known throughout the land and employed as a physician to a great lord. The physician was asked which of his family was the most skillful healer. He replied, "I tend to the sick and dying with drastic and dramatic treatments, and on occasion someone is cured and my name gets out among the lords." "My elder brother cures sickness when it just begins to take root, and his skills are known among the local peasants and neighbors." "My eldest brother is able to sense the spirit of sickness and eradicate it before it takes form. His name is unknown outside our home."

Via Asma again ;)

State-of-the-art Mobile!

Check out the latest state-of-the-art mobile phone with integrated camera from Nokia. It is available forRs. 3,000/- only in this special offer. The actual price of the phone is Rs. 18,000/- in market. So hurry-up and avail the opportunity.Contact me and send in the total money in advance :) Via Asma

:)

Are you Rich???

To Do - Today ;)

I give 100% Error

Smart :-)

Smash Smash

I'm a Programmer...

Conserve Water

Intel Inside ...!

Shirt No 1

Born SW Engineer

The Teacher gave a punishment to the student and asked him to write "I Will Not Throw Paper Airplanes in the Class" 500 times. AND The Student Wrote Via Adnan Uph its so cute ... !

What a Confidence!

The president of a country was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang. "Hallo, Mr. President!" a heavily accented voice said, "This is Gurmukh from Phagwara, District Kapurthala, Punjab. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring the war on you!" "Well, Gurmukh," President replied, "This is indeed important news!How big is your army" "Right now," said Gurmukh, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my next door neighbour Bhagat, and the entire kabaddi team from the gurudwara. That makes eight" The President paused. "I must tell you, Gurmukh that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command." Arrey O! Main kya.. " said Gurmukh. "I'll have to ring you back!" Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called again. "Mr. President, it is Gurmukh, I'm calling from Phagwara STD, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh" the President asked. "Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amrik's tractor." President sighed. "I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke." "Oh teri ...." said Gurmukh. "I'll have to get back to you." Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day. "Mr. President, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne...... We've modified Amrik's tractor by adding a couple of shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind's generator. Four school pass boys from Malpur have joined us as well!" Mr. President was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided,surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!" "Tera pala hove...." said Gurmuk, "I'll have to ring you back." Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next day. "Kiddan, Mr. President! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war." "I'm sorry to hear that," said the President. "Why the sudden change of heart" "Well," said Gurmukh, "we've all had a long chat over a couple of lassi's, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners of wars!" Oh god ... still laughing :-)

Seul Au Monde

D'où je viens ? Très loin Où je vais Personne le sait... En attendant je vous dis où je suis On dit souvent que j'ai l'air d'avoir Tout pour moi mais c'est sans savoir Les fantômes qui me hantent et Les requiems que je me chante Je joue au dur chaque jour qui passe Et les pierres de chaque mur, un jour se cassent Je suis peut-être la roche qu'on croit Mais je suis plus fragile que je veux qu'on voie Maman m'a dit avant de partir Montre jamais tes faiblesses et dans le pire Reste fort ravale tes larmes Car ta fierté restera ta plus belle arme Donc je sais rire quand il le faut Mais faut pas croire je craque dès qu'on me tourne le dos Je marche droit pour ne pas plier D'ailleurs je chante souvent pour ne pas crier Quand je pense à la vie J'fais face à mes nuits Chaque jour qui se lève me dit que [Refrain] Je suis seul au monde Y'a rien à faire, j'suis seul au monde Je veux plus le taire, j'suis seul au monde Je me sens seul au monde J'haïs Noël et toutes ses bêtes fêtes de famille Et tout ce qui rappelle ma plus belle vie Je suis jaloux de vous les chanceux qui prenez votre chair et votre sang pour acquis J'ai horreur de votre pitié Je prends très mal votre générosité Ca fait déjà un bout que je me suffis C'est pas vrai mais pour être fort c'est ça que je me dis Quoiqu'il arrive il faut que je reste dans mon rôle (ouais) Quoiqu'il arrive il faut pas que je perde mon contrôle (ouais) Je pense à moi avant le reste du monde Car avec les années je me suis rendu compte Que si c'est pas moi ce sera personne Pas moi ni toi ni personne Ici-bas c'est chacun pour soit Pour les pauvres et fiers solitaires comme moi Quand je pense à ma vie Seul face à mes nuits Chaque jour qui se lève me dit que [Refrain x2] Des fois je trouve l'amour dans les yeux de l'une Des fois je trouve le jour dans les bras de l'autre Et à toutes celles qui m'aiment encore, Qui m'aiment à tort, qui m'aiment trop fort Je vous dois ma survie, merci encore Cela n'engage que nous [Refrain x2] doudou dou doudou dou doudou doudou dou doudou dou doudou Quoiqu'il arrive (x2) Seul au monde, quoiqu'il arrive

If you ever get a chance to listen to Fabulous numbers by Corneille, a french singer, Do give it a chance ... apart from lyrics ... the emotions he deliver through his voice are superb ... I listened to his "arce Qu'on Vient De Loin" album ... and own it too ... and whenever you feel low ... turn it on ...!

You may forget your own pains ...!

Corneille Nyungura was born in the German town of Freiburg on 24 March 1977. His parents were living in Germany at the time completing their university studies. The family moved back to Rwanda while Corneille was still very young, however, and he spent his entire childhood there, getting in touch with his roots. Corneille developed a passion for music at an early age, listening to the giants of black American music such as Prince, Marvin Gaye and Stevie Wonder.

Meanwhile, he also rifled through his parents' record collection, discovering old French 'chanson' classics by the likes of Brassens, Aznavour and Brel. By his early teens Corneille had proved to be a budding singer and musician. In 1993, the talented 16-year-old ended up going into a studio in Kigali to record his first compositions. Shortly afterwards, he went on to triumph at the "Discovery" awards organised by Rwanda's national television. Corneille's fortunes appeared to be on the up and up, but a few months later tragedy struck.

In April 1994, a bunch of soldiers broke into his house and massacred his entire family, slaughtering his Tutsi father, his Hutu mother and all his brothers and sisters. Corneille managed to survive the massacre by hiding behind the sofa, but he still bears the mental scars of this harrowing ordeal.

Following the killing of his family, Corneille fled to Zaire (the future Democratic Republic of Congo), joining the crowds of refugees in exodus on the roads and enduring several long, exhausting days of walking before reaching his destination. Once in Zaire, he managed to make contact with a German couple who had been close friends of his parents. They immediately offered to take him in and act as his adoptie family in Europe.

Quote of the Day!

Kahlil Gibran:

I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.

Lifesavers' Hut

I guess, its the Lifesavers Hut located at HawksBay beach ... taken from here .... Looks amazing ... calm ... serene ... inviting ... Simply Beautiful! Helen Keller said:

"Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."

Does it happen to everyone ... ? Sometimes you want to run towards the dangers of life ... to have a meeting with them face to face ... to leave the tranquility behind ... to run towards the running water ... leaving all fears of life behind .... !

Detective Sardar

A policeman was testing 3 Sikh brothers who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first Singh a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first Singh answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second Singh and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The second Singh smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?" Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third Singh and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him? He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The Singh looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?" "That's easy," the Singh replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

The Real Terrorist

Try This 1. Go to www.google.com 2. Type The Real Terrorist 3. Click I'M Feeling Lucky Button And see what you find!