All about Apples!

A for Apple B for Bara apple C for Chota apple D for Doosra apple E for Ek aur apple F for Fokat (free) ka apple G for Gol apple H for Hazar apple I for Itney saarey apple? J for Jaao nahi khaana hai apple K for Kaise nahi khaayengey apple L for Lena padhega tumko apple M for Mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple N for Naa nahi kehtey kyun k yeh hai apple O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple P for Peit bhar khaao apple Q for Qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple R for Roz agar khaao tum apple S for Sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple T for Tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple U for Udhaar k nahi hain yeh apple V for Very tasty hai yeh apple W for Waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple X for X'mas mei bhii khane padenge apple Y for Youn na chehra phero dekhkey apple Z for Zaraasa aur khaalo aaple How was it :-)

Da perfect couple!

Check out this interesting link: http://www.flashfunpages.com/couple.swf

Amazing Illusion

If you watch the images attached below from your seat in front of the computer, Mr.Angry is on the left, and Mrs.Calm is on the right. Get up from your seat, and move back a couple of feet (or perhaps more than that), and PRESTO!!they switch places!! I believe this illusion was created by Phillippe G.Schyns and Aude Oliva of the Univ. of Glasgow. This proves that we may not be seeing what's actually there, all the time!! I do not know how they generated this fascinating image, and I believe no-one else is able to generate anything similar in Photoshop. I know it has something to do with "low-pass" and "high-pass" filters, but the details?? Enjoying :-) Via CSS Forums

Weird History!

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House. Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both Presidents were shot in the head. Now it gets really weird. Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy. Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln. Both were assassinated by Southerners. Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson. Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808. Kennedy was born in 1908. John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839. Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939. Both assassins were known by their three names. Both names are composed of fifteen letters. Now hang on to your seat. Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.' Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln' made by 'Ford.' Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse. Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater. Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials. And here's the kicker... A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe. But don't be misled too much, probe into this Lincoln & Kennedy link too. Ciao!

I'm Not Out!

Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek. Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den. He is supposed to count upto 100 and then start searching. Everyone starts hiding except Newton. Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein. Einstein's counting... 97,98,99,... and 100. He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front. Einstein yells "Newton's out... Newton's out..." Newton denies and says i am not out. He claims that he is not Newton. All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton. Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared. That makes me Newton per meter squared. Since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal. Therefore Pascal is OUT!" How was it :=)

Illusion Chill-Out!

The red squares are the same colorin the upper part and in the lower part of the "X" There are no gray spots at the corners of the squares The diagonal lines are parallel The center circles are both the same size

Rotating Wheels: The circles appear to rotate when you move your head closer and further away from the screen while looking at the dot in the center

Wavy Squares? No!The background of concentric circles makes the squares appear distorted. Perpetually ascending staircase. How can the man go up all the time and come back to the same place over and over? There are only white circles at the intersections Warped Square? There are no curved lines in this figure.

Enjoy & Chill!

Math student's love letter!

Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane. There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden. Before seeing you, my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated. My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity. You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality. My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10. With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function. Yours ever loving, Pythagoras De-Morgan's Law, 7th Cross. Binomial Avenue

Imagination Power!

Imagine this ... You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it's raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about. Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car? Think before you continue reading... .... .... ..... ..... ...... ......... ....... This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. * You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; * or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. * However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again. The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. Guess what was his answer? .... ..... .... .... He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams." Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box." So what was yours ????? :)

Humor from Great Minds!

*"*As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two... *"* *Sir Norman Wisdom *"* One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.*"* *Edgar Watson Howe *"*A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!* "* *Doug Larson *"*A harmful truth is always better then...a useful lie! *"* *Eric Bolton **"* When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.*" * *Erno Philips *"* I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'. *"* *Robert Paul *"* We spend the first twelve months of our children's liv! es teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. *"* *Phyllis Diller * *"* Laughter is the closest distance between two people. *"* *Victor Borge *"* Start every day with a smile and get it over with. *"* *W.C. Fields * *"* Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.*"* *Will Rogers *"*Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day. *"* *Mickey Rooney *"* Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children.Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison.* "* *Tim Allen *"*If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children...' - they leave skid marks. *"* *Rita Rudner *"* I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. *"* *Woody Allen *"* Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.*"* *Erica Jong *"*Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive.*"* *Elbert Hubbard *"*Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.*"* *Wendell Johnson *"* In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.*"* *Joey Adams *"* I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.* "* *Henry Youngman *"*Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?*"* *Benny Hill* * Nothin is Impossible in this world. The word Impossible itself says I'm possible* Regards

Why women cry!

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I need to" she said. "I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will." Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?" "All women cry for no reason," his dad answered carelessly. The little boy, still wondering why women cry, finally asked the old wise shaikh (scholar). "He surely knows the answer", he thought. "Ya Shaikh! Why do women cry so easily?" The Shaikh answered: "When Allah made the woman she had to be made so special. He made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. He gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that comes from her children. He gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. He gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child hurts her very badly. He gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. He gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And lastly, He gave her a tear. This is hers and only hers exclusively to use whenever she needs it. She needs no reason, no explanation, its hers." "You see my son, the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the beauty of her face, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides." The little boy got the answer and never asked the question again. Via Hassan

Code of Ethical Behaviour for Patients

In order to assist you in getting the best possible care from your physician, we suggest you observe the following guidelines.

• Do not expect your Doctor to share your discomfort. Involvement with your suffering might cause them to lose valuable scientific objectivity.
• Be cheerful at all times. Your Doctor leads a stressful life and requires all the joyfulness they can get.
• Attempt to suffer with the disease you are being treated for. It is very discourteous to your Doctor if you keep changing symptoms.
• Do not complain if the treatment fails to bring relief. You must believe your Doctor has the true insight into your condition. This will over ride the disability you may be experiencing.
• Never ask your Doctor to explain what they are doing or why. It is presumptuous to assume that such profound matters could be explained in terms you could understand.
• Readily submit to experimental treatment. Though the treatment may not benefit you directly, the resulting research paper is sure to be of interest to other Doctors.
• Do not contract an illness you cannot afford. It is sheer arrogance to suffer from a disease you can’t possibly afford to cure.
• Never reveal any of your Doctors shortcomings that you have discovered during treatment. The patient/Doctor relationship is sacred and privileged. It is vital you protect them from unnecessary criticism.
• Never die while in your doctor’s presence or under their care. This will only cause them needless inconvenience and embarrassment.

If you follow this code of ethical behaviour, you the patient may help reduce the needless suffering of so many Physicians. Bon santé!

Fun Time!

"When I’m happy I feel like crying, but when I’m sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it’s better to be happy, then you get two feelings for the price of one." -Lily Tomlin "Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand." - Mark Twain "A person without a sense of humour is like a wagon without springs - jolted by every pebble in the road." - Henry Beecher "The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease." - Voltaire "Even professional comics don’t know if their humour will work until they try, it and sometimes it doesn’t." - The Smile Connection "A smile is the curve that sets everything straight." - Phyllis Diller "If you feel down just consider that the sun sinks every night - but rises again in the morning." - Proverb "Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. " - Will Rogers "Once you can laugh at your own weaknesses, you can move forward. Comedy break down walls. It opens up people. If you're good, you can fill up those openings with something positive. Maybe you can combat some of the ugliness in the world." - Goldie Hawn "Life is God's joke on us. It's our mission to figure out the punch line." - John Guarrine "Humor is a divine quality and God has the greatest sense of humor of all. He must have, otherwise he wouldn't have made so many politicians." - Martin Luther King "If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas." - John Cleese "Even if laughter were nothing more than sheer silliness and fun, it would still be a precious boon. But we now know that it is far more than that, that it is, in fact, an essential element in emotional health." - Steve Allen "A leader without a sense of humour is apt to be like the grass mower at the cemetery - he has lots of people under him, but nobody is paying him any attention." - Bob Ross "Humor is another of the soul's weapons in the fight for self-preservation. It is well known that humor more than anything else in the human makeup, can afford an aloofness and an ability to rise above any situation, even if only for a few seconds." - Victor Frankl "Comedy is...[offering] solace, piling sandbags of wit against the flood of anger and pain." - Judith Wilt "The more you're scared, the more you have to create jokes." - Dominique Moisi "To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a bit better...to know even one life has breathed a easier because you have lived, that is to have succeeded." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "Just below the surface of consciousness, there lurks...a subterranean giggle. Nurture it, give it its space, and it will be fruitful and multiply and cheer your days and warm your nights." - Cynthia Heimel "There are three things which are real: God, human folly and laughter. The first two are beyond our comprehension, so we must do what we can with the third." - John F. Kennedy "They said 'Cheer up - things could be worse.' So I cheered up...and sure enough, things got worse." - GKH "What doesn't kill you will make you funnier." - Melanie Burnell "Insanity is like virtual reality, without the bulky gloves and helmet." - Derek Wilken "Progress is nothing but the victory of laughter over dogma." - Benjamin De Casseres Enjoy and have a cheerful time!

Why Newton Committed Suicide!

Once, Newton came to Pakistan and watched a few Lollywood movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done. In the movies of Sultan Rahi(a punjabi actor), Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes 1) Sultan Rahi has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Sultan Rahi is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Sultan Rahi! 2) In another movie, Sultan Rahi is confronted with 3 gangsters. Sultan Rahi has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He shoots the bullet & throws the knife at the middle gangster towards the bullet. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one. 3) Sultan Rahi is chased by a gangster. Sultan Rahi has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess what he does. Nah? Not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots,Sultan Rahi opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun.Bang... the gangster dies... This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast! The 'climax' finally arrives. Sultan Rahi gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Sultan Rahi can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Sultan Rahi has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?) Sultan Rahi suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead. Newton commits suicide... Via Raheel

e-Proverbs!

Home is where you hang your @. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click. You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks. In some places, C:\ is the root of all directories. Oh, what a tangled Website we weave when first we practice. Pentium wise, pen and paper foolish. Too many clicks spoil the browse. Don’t byte off more than you can view. What boots up, must come down. There’s no place like your homepage. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach him to use the Net and he won’t bother you for weeks. via Faiq Sheikh

NEVER LOVE A SOFTWARE GIRL....

Never marry a Testing girl since she always doubts U. Never marry a DATABASE girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key. Never marry a C girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things and EXIT from house. Never marry a C++ girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE. Never marry a JAVA girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS. Never marry a VB girl since she has divorce FORM with her always. Never marry a UNIX girl ,she always dump u with a core. Never marry a PASCAL girl ,she always scolds u as rascal. Never marry a COBOL girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families. Never marry a NETWORK girl since she may be very good in shooting troubles. ..... So sort out your options of marriage ...

Twinkle Twinkle

Twinkle Twinkle lazy star Kitna soyega uthja yaar, up above the world so high, sun has risen in the sky, uthke jaldi pee le chai, then call me up and say "HI"

Letters of Children to God!

1. Dear God, Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy, never asked for anything before. You can look it up. Joyce. 2. Dear God, I read the bible. What does beget mean? Nobody will tell me. Love Alison. 3. Dear God, How did you know you were God? Who told you? Charlene. 4. Dear God, Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his golf words in the house? Anita. 5. Dear God, I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. Nancy. 6. Dear God, I like the story about Noah the best of all of them. You really made up some good ones. I like walking on water too. Glenn. 7. Dear God, My Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back do you go? Love Dennis. 8. Dear God, Do you draw the lines around the countries? If you don't who does? Nathan. 9. Dear God, Did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an accident? Norma. 10. Dear God, In bible times, did they really talk that fancy? Jennifer. 11. Dear God, How come you did all those miracles in the old days and don't do any now? Billy. 12. Dear God, Please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp this year. Peter. 13. Dear God, Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they each had their own rooms. It works out OK with me and my brother. Larry. 14. Dear God, I keep waiting for Spring but it never did come yet. What's up? Don't forget. Mark. 15. Dear God, My brother told me about how you are born but it just doesn't sound right. What do you say? Marsha. 16. Dear God, If you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes. Barbara. 17. Dear God, Is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him through the business? Donny. 18. Dear God, I do not think anybody could be a better God than you. Well, I just want you to know that. I am not just saying that because you are already God. Charles. 19. Dear God, It is great the way you always get the stars in the right place. Why can't you do that with the moon? Jeff. 20. Dear God, I am doing the best I can. Really!!! Frank. And saving the best for last.. 21. Dear God, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday night. That was really cool. Thomas. -*- p.s: a forwarded mail!