Code of Ethical Behaviour for Patients

In order to assist you in getting the best possible care from your physician, we suggest you observe the following guidelines.

• Do not expect your Doctor to share your discomfort. Involvement with your suffering might cause them to lose valuable scientific objectivity.
• Be cheerful at all times. Your Doctor leads a stressful life and requires all the joyfulness they can get.
• Attempt to suffer with the disease you are being treated for. It is very discourteous to your Doctor if you keep changing symptoms.
• Do not complain if the treatment fails to bring relief. You must believe your Doctor has the true insight into your condition. This will over ride the disability you may be experiencing.
• Never ask your Doctor to explain what they are doing or why. It is presumptuous to assume that such profound matters could be explained in terms you could understand.
• Readily submit to experimental treatment. Though the treatment may not benefit you directly, the resulting research paper is sure to be of interest to other Doctors.
• Do not contract an illness you cannot afford. It is sheer arrogance to suffer from a disease you can’t possibly afford to cure.
• Never reveal any of your Doctors shortcomings that you have discovered during treatment. The patient/Doctor relationship is sacred and privileged. It is vital you protect them from unnecessary criticism.
• Never die while in your doctor’s presence or under their care. This will only cause them needless inconvenience and embarrassment.

If you follow this code of ethical behaviour, you the patient may help reduce the needless suffering of so many Physicians. Bon santé!