## Classic definitions & cool meanings ##

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at oneend & a fool at the other. 2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationalsare more popular than a five-day test. 3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelordegree and a woman gains her master 4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage 5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes ofthe lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "theminds of either". 6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the numberpresent. 7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way thateverybody believes he got the biggest piece. 8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will poweris defeated by feminine waterpower. 9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage. 10. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &everybody disagrees later on. 11. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel afeeling you have never felt before. 12. Classic: A book, which people praise, but do not read. 13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. 14. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuoushome life. 15. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to opentheir mouth. 16. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know morethan you actually do. 17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sitto decide that nothing can be done together. 18. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes. 19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. 20. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to bespoken of when dead. 21. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a waythat you actually look forward to the trip. 22. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentallyfalls into a river. 23. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says inmidway "See I am not injured yet." 24. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY. 25. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. 26. Father: A banker provided by nature. 27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that hegot caught. 28. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late whenyou are early. 29. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and yourConfidence after. 30. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills youwith his bills. 31. Software Engineer: One who gets paid for reading or writing such posts ...... ^_^