Algebra Expansion

I never knew that algebra can be expanded like this too ... :-)

Brilliant Mathematics

1 x 8 + 1 = 9 12 x 8 + 2 = 98 123 x 8 + 3 = 987 1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876 12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765 123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654 1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543 12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432 123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321 1 x 9 + 2 = 11 12 x 9 + 3 = 111 123 x 9 + 4 = 1111 1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111 12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111 123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111 1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111 12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111 123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111 9 x 9 + 7 = 88 98 x 9 + 6 = 888 987 x 9 + 5 = 8888 9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888 98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888 987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888 9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888 98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888 Brilliant, isn't it? And finally, take a look at this symmetry: 1 x 1 = 1 11 x 11 = 121 111 x 111 = 12321 1111 x 1111 = 1234321 11111 x 11111 = 123454321 111111 x 111111 = 12345654321 1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321 11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321 111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321

Call centre conversations!

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?". Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?". Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre". Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours". ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Sam sung Electronics Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?" Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about". Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?" Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall". ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ RAC Motoring Services Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?" Operator: " Doesn't the product give you a clue?" ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France): "If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?" ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Directory Enquiries Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please". Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?" Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off". ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?" Caller: "Yes. T hat's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland". ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on". ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop". Customer: "OK". Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?". Customer: "No". Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No". Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?". Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'". ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?" Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?" ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?". ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy shou ld have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause". Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!): Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?" Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." Operator: "What sort of trouble??" Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." Operator: "Went away?" Caller: "They disappeared." Operat or: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" Caller: "Nothing." Operator: "Nothing??" Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??" Caller: "How do I tell?" Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??" Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?" Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?" Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??" Caller: "What's a monitor?" Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??" Caller: "I don't know." Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??" Caller: "Yes, I think so." Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. Caller: "Yes, it is." Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??" Caller: "No." Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." Caller: "Okay, here it is." Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." Caller: "I can't reach." Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??" Caller: "N o." Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??" Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark." Operator: "Dark??" Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then." Caller: "I can't." Operator: "No? Why not??" Caller: "Because there's a power failure." Operator: "A power...................................... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??" Caller: & nbsp; "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?" Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is." Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??" Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!!!" ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The Boss

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead: "I'm afraid he died last week." she explains. The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. "I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week." The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts: "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?" "Coz . . ." he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it. . . ." Rotating this at the moment in office ... hahahaha :-)

ANTHEM - PAK PAK PAKISTAN

Aao phir Tahreek chalaain Piyaarey Des mein apney Safaai ki aadat aam banaain Pak Pak PAKISTAN Saaf Saaf PAKISTAN Har pal har dam AZM hamara Safeguard PAKISTAN Jaraseem sey karoo bachaao Har rooz nahaney jaao Jaraseem dho daloo jab Sehatmand rahoo gey tab Hai sab k liye FARMAAN Safaai hai nisf IMAAN IMAAN apna mazboot banaao Safaai ki aadat apnaao Pak Pak PAKISTAN Saaf Saaf PAKISTAN Har pal har dam AZM hamara Safeguard PAKISTAN

Life of a Software Engineer

That's how we live ... attack and survive is the rule!

Resting

Time to rest!

Musharaf's Wedding!

Revolving in my office and laughing like hell ... not me ... obviously :-D

We Can Learn!

Too many times, we face challenges at work, at homeand at other occasions. Maybe we can learn from this story: A group of alumni, highly established in theircareers, got together to visit their old universityprofessor. Conversation soon turned into complaintsabout stress in work and life. Offering his guestscoffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returnedwith a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups:porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plainlooking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling themto help themselves to hot coffee. When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, theprofessor said: "If you noticed, all the nice lookingexpensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plainand cheap ones. While it is normal for you towant only the best for yourself, that want is thesource of your problems and stress. What all of youreally wanted was coffee, not the cup, but youconsciously went for the best cups and were eyeingeachother's cups.

Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money andposition in society are the cups. They are just toolsto hold and contain Life, but the quality of Lifedoesn't change. Sometimes, by concentrating only onthe cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it." So, don'tlet the cups drive you... enjoy the coffee instead!

University Life

Those 'midnight teas', Those 'bday bumps'... 'Old torn jeans', Those 'late night walks', 'long chats'... 'pinches & slaps'.. 'crushes on pals' & tat fight 4em', 'frying nuts'.. making rowses bunking classes, calculating attendance percentage, copying tests and assignments.:) gettin kicked out of class.. 'struggle 4marks', 'writin on desks', 'fight wit teachers', those B-grade movies... Jst evritin... "Tatz UNIVERSITY life" v cal it "HEAVEN"

Do U Know?

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma. No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times. Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older. The first product to have a bar code as Wrigley's gum. The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class. Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.(Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!) Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN! The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first "Marlboro Man." Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE! PEARLS MELT IN VINEGAR! The three most valuable brand names on earth: (Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order. It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but, not downstairs. A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. Via Not Recommended Sources ... so :)

General Knowledge

Q: What is the difference between men and puppies? A: Puppies grow up. Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces? A: Because they are... Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles? A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever. Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first? A: Who cares?????..... Q: What did God say after he created man? A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!! Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ? A: I don't know, I've never seen either. Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? A: i) no mind ii) no business Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years? A:! Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions . Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving. Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift? A: Exchange him!! Q: Why do men like smart women? A: Opposites attract.

Boss is Always Boss

Five men were searching for some important documentsin their office. One was the boss, the other was the assistant, the thirdwas the manager, the fourth was a lady receptionist and the fifth was aclerk. While searching, the clerk found a lamp in the cupboard. He rubbed itand a genie came out. He asked them their wishes. The clerk shouted, "Mefirst, me first! I want to go to Hawaii and spend a month there The genieclapped and the clerk was gone, his wish was granted. Next, the assistant shouted, "My turn, my turn. I want to go to Switzerland for a monthon holiday with my wife & children." The genie clapped and he was gone,his wish was also granted. Then the manager said, "My turn now, I wantto go on a world tour " The genie clapped and he was gone on the tour. Then the receptionist shouted, "I want to go to Australia andlive there " The genie clapped again and she was alsogone. The genie then asked the owner of the company his wish. He smiled sweetly and said, "I want all of them back to work!"

Suicide

Three Construction workers are working on the 20th floor of a tall building in Bombay. One is a Mallu, the second is a Bengali and the third is a Sardarji. Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch together One fine day -- the Mallu opened his lunch box and finds idlis in the box. He says " I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I find idlis in the box tommorow, I will jump from the 20th floor and die". Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds Fish in it and says " If I find fish in my lunch box tommorow, I am going to jump from the 20th floor of this building and die " Next the Sardarji opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and says " Mother promise, if I find parathas in my box tommorow I am also going to jump from the 20th floor" Next day the three friends meet in the lunch room for lunch. Mallu opens his lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps from the 20th floor and dies. The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the 20th floor and dies. Sardarji opens his box and finds parathas and he also jumps from the 20th floor and dies. In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their colleagues, the Mallu's widow says: " I did not know he hated idlis so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch " The Bengali's widow says: " I did not know he hated fish so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch" The sardarji's widow says " I do not understand what went wrong. My husband always prepared his own lunch....!!! _Asma_