GraFFiTi

On the internet nothing is illegal, its all e-legal... I'm so old that, when I was in school, history was called current affairs. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs louder. I always give waiters a tip, but they never seem to appreciate my advice. Nothing in the world is more expensive than a girl who's totally free for the weekend. The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat. Never make the same mistake twice... there are so many new ones to make! One day, your life will flash in front of your eyes... Make it worth watching. Worry is the darkroom in which 'negatives' are developed.

MBA vs BCOM student

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an Indian...... A MBA and a Bcom go on a camping trip, set up their tent,and fell asleep. Some hours later, the Bcom wakes his MBA friend. " look up at the sky and tell me what you see." The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" The MBA ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" The Bcom is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Practically...Someone has stolen our tent".

It's always a good time to CHANGE!

The first step toward getting somewhere is to decide that you're not going to stay where you are. You're a product of your environment. So choose an environment that will best develop you toward your goals. Analyze your life in terms of your environment. Are the things around you helping you toward your success or are they holding you back? Your world today is a living _expression of how you are using and have used your mind. It's something that you can change at any time. You don't have to remain a captive of your environment. Don't say "If I could change, I would change," say "I can change, and I will change."

Foreign language!

A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacks them. The mother mouse goes, "BARK!" and the cat runs away. "See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it's important to learn a foreign language?"

BAD BREATH: Parsley leaves are rich in chlorophyll, nature's own deodorizer. Chew some leaves regularly and your breath will remain fresh. You can chew some cardamom seeds to sweeten your breath. BRUISES: Slice a raw onion and place over the bruise. Do not apply this to broken skin. CONSTIPATION (IN ADULTS): Take apple pectin. Make sure you're getting enough Folic Acid in your diet. Drinking ginger tea will help start a bowel movement. DAMAGED, DRY HAIR: A nourishing conditioner for dry or damaged hair which can be used for all hair types: Separate the white of an egg from the yolk, whip it to a peak. Add 1 Tbls. water to the yolk and blend until the mixture is creamy. Then mix the white and yolk together. Wet your hair with warm water, remove the excess moisture, and apply the mixture to your scalp with your fingertips. Massage gently until the froth is worked into your scalp, then rinse the hair with cool water. Keep applying the mixture until it is used up and then rinsed until all of the egg is washed away. DANDRUFF: Pour distilled white vinegar onto the hair, as close to the scalp as you can manage; massage into the scalp; and allow to dry for several minutes before washing as usual. Repeat daily until the dandruff disappears, usually within a few days. DARK CIRCLES AROUND EYES: Make a paste out of 1 tsp. tomato juice, 1/2 tsp. lemon juice, a pinch of turmeric powder, and 1 tsp. of flour. Apply around eyes. Leave on for 10 minutes before rinsing. DEPRESSION: 3/4 cup of cooked spinach a day is enough to give dramatic relief from depression if you are deficient in B vitamins. DIARRHEA: Eat boiled sweet potatoes seasoned with salt and pepper before bedtime to cure chronic diarrhea. FACIAL CLEANSER: Mix 2 Tbls. cornstarch, 2 Tbls. glycerin, and 1/2 cup water until smooth. Heat in a small pan placed in a water bath inside another pan. Heat until thick and clear; it will have the consistency of pudding. Do not boil. Cool completely, Use in place of soap to cleanse your skin. (If mixture is too thick, you may thin it by adding a little water, 1 Tbls. at a time, until you reach the desired consistency.) FATIGUE: Take a glass of grapefruit and lemon juice in equal parts to dispel fatigue and general tiredness after a day's work. GUM IN HAIR: Soak the gum-coated hair in Coke® and it should wipe out easily. HEADACHE: Eat 10-12 almonds, the equivalent of two aspirins, for a migraine headache. Almonds are far less likely to upset the stomach. HICCUPS: Drink 1/2 glass water, slowly. Keep a tsp. of sugar in your month and suck slowly. Suck 2-3 small pieces of fresh ginger. This helps in hiccups which keep occurring again and again. OR Take a large mouthful of water with out swallowing, plug both ears, and slowly begin to swallow the water. Unplug your ears and you're hiccup free! (Submitted by Mrs T. Falkmann) MUCUS IN COUGH: Pour 1 cup boiling water over 1/2 tsp. each of ginger, ground cloves, and cinnamon. Filter. Sweeten with 1 tsp. honey and drink. OBESITY:Mix lime juice with honey and water; drink a glass of this every morning. Mix 3 tsp. lime juice, 1/4 tsp. black pepper, 1 tsp. honey, and 1 cup water; drink a glass a day for 3 months. Mix 1 tsp. lime juice with 1 cup water and drink each morning. Eat a tomato before breakfast. OILY SKIN: For oily skin, mix 1/2 cup cooked oatmeal, 1 egg white, 1 Tbls. lemon juice, and 1/2 cup mashed apple into a smooth paste. Apply to face and leave on 15 minutes. Rinse. OVERWEIGHT: Effective at getting rid of fat, drink up to 3 cups of green tea daily. Regular tea can also be used with a lesser effect. PAIN RELIEVER: Mix 3 Tbls. of honey in boiled water and drink. Honey has natural pain-relieving powers. SMELLY FEET: Soak feet in strong tea for 20 minutes every day until the smell disappears. To prepare your footbath, brew two tea bags in 2 1/2 cups of water for 15 minutes and pour the tea into a basin containing two liters of cool water. SMOKING HABIT: Lick a little salt with the tip of your tongue whenever you feel the urge to smoke. This is said to break the habit within 1 month. SORE THROAT: Mix 1 tsp. lime juice and 1 Tbls. honey. Swallow tiny amounts slowly 2-3 times a day. STOMACH ACIDITY:Drink coconut water 3-4 times a day. Have a plateful of watermelon and/or cucumber every hour. WARTS: Try taping a slice of garlic to the wart. Be sure to first protect the surrounding skin with petroleum jelly. WEAK NAILS: To strengthen and shine nails, combine 2 tsp. salt, 2 tsp. castor oil, and 1 tsp. wheat germ oil and mix thoroughly. Pour into bottle. Shake before using. To use, rub a small amount into your nails. Leave on 3-5 minutes and tissue off. Follow up with more plain castor oil, if desired. YELLOW TEETH: Mix salt with finely powdered rind of lime. Use this as toothpowder frequently. So enjoy from now on :-) Wassalam

IT'S ALWAYS A GOOD TIME TO CHANGE!

The first step toward getting somewhere is to decide that you're not going to stay where you are. You're a product of your environment. So choose an environment that will best develop you toward your goals. Analyze your life in terms of your environment. Are the things around you helping you toward your> success or are they holding you back? Your wrld today is a living expression of how you are using and have used your mind. It's something that you can change at any time. You don't have to remain a captive of your environment. Don't say "If I could change, I would change," say "I can change, and I will change."

## Classic definitions & cool meanings ##

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at oneend & a fool at the other. 2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationalsare more popular than a five-day test. 3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelordegree and a woman gains her master 4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage 5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes ofthe lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "theminds of either". 6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the numberpresent. 7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way thateverybody believes he got the biggest piece. 8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will poweris defeated by feminine waterpower. 9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage. 10. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &everybody disagrees later on. 11. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel afeeling you have never felt before. 12. Classic: A book, which people praise, but do not read. 13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. 14. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuoushome life. 15. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to opentheir mouth. 16. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know morethan you actually do. 17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sitto decide that nothing can be done together. 18. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes. 19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. 20. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to bespoken of when dead. 21. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a waythat you actually look forward to the trip. 22. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentallyfalls into a river. 23. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says inmidway "See I am not injured yet." 24. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY. 25. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. 26. Father: A banker provided by nature. 27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that hegot caught. 28. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late whenyou are early. 29. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and yourConfidence after. 30. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills youwith his bills. 31. Software Engineer: One who gets paid for reading or writing such posts ...... ^_^

Online Libraries

I got it through a mail ... thought posting it on blog would be better :-) The Internet Public Libraryhttp://www.ipl.org/ The Library of Congresshttp://www.loc.gov/ Internet Sacred Text Archivehttp://www.sacred-texts.com/ Books onLinehttp://digital.library.upenn.edu/books/ Spirit Site: Spiritual Writingshttp://www.spiritsite.com/writing/index.htm Thinking Allowed Transcript Libraryhttp://www.intuition.org/idxtran.htm WWW Virtual Libraryhttp://vlib.org/Home.html World-Wide Web Virtual Library: Subject cataloguehttp://celtic.stanford.edu/vlib/Overview2.html The Great Bookshttp://www.anova.org/index.html GREAT BOOKShttp://www.grtbooks.com The Gutenberg Projecthttp://www.gutenberg.net/ The Gutenberg Project: INDEX Bartleby Project: Great Books onlinehttp://www.bartleby.com/ The Bartleby Project: Titles http://www.bibliomania.com/ Digital Librarian: a librarian's choice of the best ofthe Webhttp://www.digital-librarian.com/ Malaspina Great Bookshttp://www.malaspina.com/ The eBook Directorhttp://www.ebookdirectory.com/personal.html Books on the Web Virginia Techgopher://gopher.vt.edu:1001010/33 The Spiritwalk Libraryhttp://www.spiritwalk.org/library.htm University of Virginia e-Text Libraryhttp://etext.lib.virginia.edu/ First Chapters on Contentvillehttp://www.contentville.com/content/libchapterone.asp Medical Humanities ( NYU School of Medicine)http://endeavor.med.nyu.edu/lit-med/medhum.html ANU - Coombsweb Social Sciences Serverhttp://coombs.anu.edu.au/ The British Libraryhttp://www.bl.uk/ Internet Classics Archivehttp://classics.mit.edu/index.html On-Line Library of Literaturehttp://www.literature.org/ Electronic Bookshelfhttp://www.ddc.net/ygg/etext/#EB The On-Line Books Page ( University of Pennsylvania )http://digital.library.upenn.edu/books/ Universal Library (Carnegie Mellon)http://www.ulib.org/ Folklore and Mythology Electronic Textshttp://www.oldpoets.com/ Compleat William Shakespearehttp://tech-two.mit.edu/Shakespeare/works.html The Essay Depothttp://www.essaydepot.com/ Access to Insight Theravadan Buddhist Libraryhttp://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/index.html A Cherag's Libraryhttp://cheraglibrary.org/ A library of literature from and about World Religions Christian Classics (Books On-Line)http://www.ccel.org/ American Library Associationhttp://www.ala.org/ and lastly all the missing sites like spiritweb which are not in the webnow the archive can be found athttp://web.archive.org So enjoy a ride to library world!

Two sides of a view!

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families,their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days and weeks passed. One morning, the nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to make you happy."

Adult Education

WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY February, 10th, 2006 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM. Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00for 2 hours. Class 3 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PMfor 3 weeks. Class 4 After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM Class 6 Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM Class 7 Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum Monday at 8:00 PM , 2 hours. Class 8 Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PMfor 2 hours. Class 9 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined. Class 10 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours. Class 11 Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing Tuesdays at 7:00 PM , location to be determined Class 12 How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM . Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PMfor 2 hours. Class 14 The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined. Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors. Via Ejaz bhai

Short Story

There is this Fisherman, let's call him Salman. Salman goes out fishing each morning, casts his net and gathers his catch and sells them in the market and makes a living out of it. On one occasion he gets up too early and sleep eludes him. So he decides to go fishing any way it's too dark to go fishing so he strolls by the Bank of the River and waits for the Sun to appear he stumbles upon a sack. This sack is a bit heavy and there were some pebbles in it. Now, when u have a river and a sack of pebbles and a lot of time to kill, the logical thing to do is to throw the pebbles into the river. Salman did just the same. He tried all the things we do Throwing it as far as possible, as high as possible, make the pebbles bounce as many times an possible.....Now with just one stone remaining, the sun rose the stone in his hand began to glow as well damn! The stone was a diamond!!!! That's when he realized that all those pebbles he had thrown away were actually Precious Stones!!! End of Story! Moral is: Don't get up too early in the morning :-) Any morals that you want to suggest here ? via Green Head

Mullah Nasruddin's Tigers

One day, a student of Mullah Nasrudin went to visit him. He happened to sneak up from behind, intending to surprise Mullah, when he noticed that he was sprinkling bread crumbs around the perimeter of the garden. "Mullah, what on earth are you doing?" "Oh, this? It's my technique for keeping the tigers away." "But Mullah", the student replied, "there are no tigers for miles around here!" "Effective, isn't it?" said Mullah via Saroosh

***<<<|/\||-|@T IF ...?>>>***

What if...? God couldn't take the time to bless us today because we could not take the time to thank Him yesterday... What if...? God decided to stop leading us tomorrow Because we didn't follow him today... What if...? God didn't walk with us today because we failed to recognize it as his day... What if...? We never saw another flower bloom because we grumbled when God sent the rain..... What if...? God stopped loving and caring for us because we failed to love and care for others.... What if...? God took away his message because we failed to listen to his messenger... What if...? The door to the Mosque was closed because we did not open the door of our hearts... What if...? God would not hear us today because we would not listen to Him yesterday..... What if...? God answered our prayers the way we answer his call to service What if...? God met our needs the way we give Him our lives...