Have fun ...!

ku ku . ka ka . ga ga . ga ga . ka ka ki . gu gu ki ki . ka ka ku ku . ki ki ki ku ku . ga ki ku ka ka ku . ki ku ki ki ku ku . . OMG!! My blog has been invaded by a monkey *runs for shelter* Thanks to Raheel

Amazing !

* Coca-Cola was originally green. * The most common name in the world is Mohammed. * The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with. * The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. * There are two credit cards for every person in the United States. * TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row ! of the keyboard. * Women blink nearly twice as much as men!! * You can't kill yourself by holding your breath. * It is impossible to lick your elbow. * People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond. * Butterflies taste with their feet. * Elephants are the only animals that can't jump ... how cute they would have looked otherwise ... nahiiin :) * In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated. * On average, people fear spiders more than they do death. * Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump' ... Wow!

Criticism

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. — Quoted in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants byAnn Brashares, (Delacorte Press)

The World

Recently, a survey was conducted by the U.N. worldwide.The question asked was: "Would you please give your opinion about the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure because: In Africa, they didn't know what "food" means. In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" means. In the Middle East, they didn't know what "opinion" means. In South America, they didn't know what "please" means. AND in the U.S.A, they didn't know what "the rest of the world" means. What's your opinion?

Bush in primary school

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk, he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asked, "What is your name?" "Bob". And what is your question, Bob? "I have 3 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you president when al gore got more votes? Third, what happened to Osama bin laden? " Just then, the bell rings for recess. George bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume George says, "Ok where were we?" Oh, that's right. Question time. Who has a question?" A different little boy raises his hand. George points him out and asked him "what is your name"? "Steve" "And what is your question Steve?" "I have 5 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of UN? Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes? Third, what happened to Osama bin laden? Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early? Fifth, where is "Bob"? "

Quotes of life!

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. - Franklin P. Jones We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like? -Jean Cocturan It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. - Darrin Weinberg Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again. Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers. It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving. Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk. Forgive your enemies but remember their names. The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. Dont worry that the world ends today, its already tomorrow in Australia. U learn in life when u lose "Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them." --Albert Einstein Obey them now!

Surprise ...!

Open a blank Word document and type the following: =rand(200,99) now Press 'Enter' ... Wait 5 seconds... Surprised???????

WHY WOMEN LIE!

One day, a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river And her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and she needed the thimble to make her living. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden thimble. " Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "No." The Lord again went down and came up with a silver thimble. "Is this your thimble?" Again the seamstress replied, "No." The Lord went down again and came up with a wooden thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. "The seamstress replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all the three thimble to keep. And the seamstress went home happy. Some time later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank and her husband fell into the river. When she cried out the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?" "Oh, Lord, my husband has fallen into the water!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with Mel Gibson. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked." Yes," cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious, "You lied! That is an untruth!" The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Mel Gibson, you would have come up with Tom Cruise. Then if I said 'no' to him you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor woman and not able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S WHY I said yes to Mel Gibson." Moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it is for a good and honorable reason for the benefit of others.

Good old days.......

Go back in time.... Before the Internet, VCD and DVD. Before semi-automatics machine guns, joyriders and crack .... Before SEGA or Super Nintendo or Video Games... Way back.... I'm talking about Hide and seek (Chhupan Chhupaee) in the park or on streets. The corner shop, Butter Scotch Candy, Mitchells Milk Toffee, Jubilee, football with an old can, jumping in enormous puddles, Building dams. The smell of the sun and fresh cut grass. Mayfair bubble gum. "Nice" sugar coated biscuits A POLKA ice cream pop cone on a warm summer night, The 2 and 3 rs shahi kulfis ....! Wait......

Watching Weekday 5pm evening or Saturday Morning cartoons... short commercials, The Tom and Jerry, He-Man, Captain Caveman, Waltron, Walligator, Danger Mouse and Pink Panther. Staying up late for Night Rider, Air Wolf, golden monkeys or Power of Methew Star. Watching nice Urdu Plays like Un Kahi, Tanhaiyaan, Sunehray Din, Aangan Tera, Dhoop Kinaray ....! When around the corner seemed far away, and going into down town or Liberty Market seemed like going somewhere. A million mosquito bites, wasp and bee stings. Sticky fingers. Walking to school, no matter what the weather. Running till you were out of breath. Ringing doorbells for no reason. The old ill-kept house down the street being haunted. Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt. Jumping on the bed. Pillow fights. Climbing trees, building igloos Ice Lolies out of tiny amounts of snow. Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for the giggles. Being tired from playing... Remember that? The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team or your mom showing up at school to pick u up and kissing u infront of your friends. Water balloons were the ultimate weapon. I'm not finished just yet... Remember when... You knew everyone in your street - and so did your parents! It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends. You didn't sleep a wink on EiD Chaand Raat. When 100 Rs. was more than decent pocket money. When you'd get both a coke and a slims for 5 Rs. When nearly everyone's mum was at home when the kids got there from School. When dad was better than superman! When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at real restaurant with your parents. When being sent to the head's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home. Basically, we were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! And some of us are still afraid of them!!! Didn't that feel good? Just to go back and say, Yeah, I remember that! Remember when.... Decisions were made by going "eeny- meeny-miney-mo." "Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest. Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly". The worst thing you could catch from other person was germs, and the worst thing in your day was having to sit next to opposite sex. Having a weapon in school, meant being caught with a catapult. Nobody was prettier than your Mum. Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better. Taking drugs meant orange-flavoured chewable aspirin. Ice cream was considered a basic food group. Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true. Tooth was saved under your pillow for the Tooth Fairy to reward you with a rupee for it. Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dare". Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors. When did life become SO complicated!!! Whatever happened to times when having rubbers and pencils made us feel rich! If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!

MS Techno Cars!

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads. 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation" warning light. 7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying. 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Lolz :>

Luv Test!

A young teenage college guy sends a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate and he also got a reply from the girl........ My Dear Swapna, Please answer the following questionaire. For Options (a)10 marks,(b) 5 marks and (c) 3 marks. If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it. If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not. 1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because(a) of love (b) you couldn't control seeing me (c) really .... am I doing it 2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at mebecause (a) you always like to see me smiling (b) you are testing whether I like jokes (c) you are attracted by my smile 3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately youstopped singing because (a) you are so coy to sing before me (b) my presence influenced you (c) you feared that whether I'll like your song 4) When you were showing your child photo, when I asked for it, you hid itbecause (a) you felt ashamed (b) you felt uneasy (c) you don't know 5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because (a) you enjoyed my disappointment (b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing (c) you don't know 6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus. (a) you were waiting for me(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus (c) that bus was crowded 7) You introduced me to your parents whe! n they came to college because (a) I am going to be your groom (b) you just want to know what your parents think about me (c) just you felt like introducing me to them 8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because (a) to fulfill my wish (b) you like roses (c) by chance you got a rose 9) On that day, it was my birthday. you too came to temple early at 6:00 AM because (a) you want to pray along with me (b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday (c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual Eagerly awaiting the result of Love Exam - Aakash -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Swapna's reply letter was also in Q/A format. Aakash, Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire. 1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them (a) Yes (b) No 2) If a girls laughs and sees anyone, is it love ? (a) Yes (b) No 3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not ? (a) Yes (b) No 4) I was showing to my friends who are girls my child photo. You poked you nose inside..... right ? (a) Yes (b) No 5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understandyet? (a) Yes (b) No 6) Should I not wait for my friend (girl) ? (a) Yes (b) No 7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend ? (a) Yes (b) No 8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is ittrue ? (a) Yes (b) No 9) Oh was that your birthday. Thats why I could see you in temple. I comedaily to Temple. Do you know ? (a) Yes (b) No If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love. - Swapna

CAREER AT A HELP DESK MUST BE FUN !

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button? Customer: Yes, sure, nothing happens, it must be really stuck. Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet...it's still on my desk... sorry . -------------------------------------------- Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Is that your left or my left? -------------------------------------------- Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and..... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it ! -------------------------------------------- Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it... -------------------------------------------- Customer: I have problems printing in red ... Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you. -------------------------------------------- Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket. -------------------------------------------- Helpdesk: And now hit F8. Customer: It's not working. Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly? Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening. -------------------------------------------- Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: OK Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah ... that one does work! -------------------------------------------- Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a Capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? -------------- A customer couldn't get on the Internet: - Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes I'm sure. I watched my colleague do it. Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars. -------------- Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry ... Internet Explorer. -------------- Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears ! -------------- Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech Support, may I help you? Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can You please tell me how long it will take before you can help me? Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem? Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me? -------------- Helpdesk: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter " a ", but how do I get the circle around it? --------------------------------------------

SCAB AND ABSCESS

Everyone's faced with his/her fears which he needs to confront in order to redeem his/her own glory... better to have fears and then overcome them than creating self-doubts and agony... I just read this beautiful piece by Hazrat Rumi and thought to share with you guys.

SCAB AND ABSCESS An elephant was led to a well to drink. Seeing itself in the water, it shied away. It thought it was shying away from another elephant. It did not realize it was shying away from its own self. All evil qualities—oppression, hatred, envy, greed, mercilessness, pride—when they are within yourself, they bring no pain. When you see them in another, then you shy away and feel the pain. We feel no disgust at our own scab and abscess. We will dip our infected hand into our food and lick our fingers without turning in the least bit squeamish. But if we see a tiny abscess or half a scratch on another's hand, we shy away from that person's food and have no stomach for it whatsoever. Evil qualities are just like scabs and abscesses; when they are within us they cause no pain, but when we see them even to a small degree in another, then we feel pain and disgust. Just as you shy away from your brother or sister, so you should excuse them for shying away from you. The pain you feel comes from those faults, and they see the same faults. The seeker of truth is a mirror for their neighbors. But those who cannot feel the sting of truth are not mirrors to anyone but themselves.

(FIHI MA FIHI) Rumi Via Ejaz Asi